the people who tear you down

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Yesterday, Jasmine Star’s post got me thinking. And only God knows how many people she touched because within that same day, I was face-to-face with the naysayers in my own life.

One of the comments someone left on her blog stood out to me: “I already deal with doubt coming from myself; I don’t need it from anyone else.”

But, despite our hard days and sometimes harder nights, we have to be rooting for ourselves. If we aren’t who else will be? And how can we defend ourselves among those who feast upon any sign of our weakness?

I’m just going to try to love them from afar. As I’ve come to discover more of who I am and what I want out of life, I realize that my soul, the thing in the deepest part of who I am, cannot be destroyed by anyone but myself. I just can’t let their abuse weigh me down anymore. The more you push me, naysayer, the more I’m aware of how much I don’t want to be doing the thing you’re asking. I know who I am and the naysayer wanting me to be someone else will not change me. Sometimes love can be smothering if you portray it to be based on conditions you require of someone, despite the fact that you believe you love them unconditionally. I know this because I myself have given love with the expectation of it being returned. But no amount of “loving” me will make me live the life you want me to live. And no amount of love can make someone feel the way you want them to feel. The real magic is in loving that person enough to let them make their own decisions. Including the decision to love you back. The only person you can control is you. I can’t control what a naysayer says but I can control how I respond to them. And I won’t let them disturb my peace anymore. I hope you won’t either. We have much more important things to be doing.


5 thoughts on “the people who tear you down

  1. Like everybody else, I am full of self-doubt, and it’s even harder to have people around you not being really supportive or trying to tear you down. So Jasmine’s and your blog posts were something I could relate to

    • I’m glad you were able to relate. It can be so trying to combat the naysayers at times, but that’s where the blessing of community comes in. And I’m so thankful to be in touch with you and others who understand. =)

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