when something isn’t working, change it.

IMG_0786_photographybypaulina

How is it that this simply profound piece of advice can be so hard to follow?

Back in January, I went to Justin & Mary’s DC What’s Next Tour. It was truly an incredible experience, and I couldn’t have had a better start to the year.

Why am I writing about something that happened in January, now?

Well, what I mainly took away from the workshop was…we need to be living the life of our dreams, now. That means no more excuses, no more settling for what isn’t right. No more living life by someone else’s standards, someone else’s dreams. No regretting anything, because “regret is mourning your life while you’re still alive.”

I don’t want to be driven by what someone else thinks is right. I want to live life on my own terms, make my own mistakes.

I got to spend a few hours meeting some of my favorite photographers in the DC area, and left feeling inspired, but went back to my day-to-day life and realized… something was off. Only, this realization came months, months later.

Over the past five months my world has been shaken & shaken again. And with each upheaval I’ve been left with the same resounding truth: I am an artist.

It’s funny, because the two major things that broke my heart and left me out to dry couldn’t be more different. Yet, they brought the same message. A necessary reminder.

It’s the language of the little piece of your heart that lights up when you see this and leaps for joy when you do that. And when you don’t, it tries to stay silent until it sees you’re hurting because it’s hurting too and then decides to whisper,

“I’m still here.”

It’s the part of you that was always there, and always will be. It’s never going away. Only, sometimes it takes us a little while to come to terms with that.

2012 was a year of firsts for me. Rosy-cheeked, starry-eyed, first-kiss-with-destiny firsts. I’m realizing that 2013 is about the hustle that comes after the firsts: the stuff that makes the “seconds,” “thirds,” “fourths” and thereafter. 2013 is about going above and beyond. It’s scary and exciting. 2013 is about life lived outside the comfort zone. 2012 was about merely peering at what’s outside the confines of  ”safe, familiar, comfortable.” 2013 is about breaking those bonds, and redefining what each of those words means in the process.

Mary talked about how leaving a legacy should be of more value to us than the pretty penny of external validation. We make goals, of course, but we should do regular heart checks to make sure that we’re being authentic to ourselves.

In light of this, I’ve thought about some things that I stand for (not a conclusive list ;) ):

  • authenticity
  • passion
  • service
  • love
  • the little things
  • faith
  • living in tune with your heart (I have a great quote about this & how it relates to the work we do on next week’s inspired monday! ;)  )
  • learning & sharing
  • freedom

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while… none of those might really be surprising to you. I’ve written about all of them in various ways, on multiple occasions. And the fact that you’re still here and giving the mumbles of my lips a voice, means that on some level, those things are important to you too. And that’s wonderful.

If you, like me, ever find yourself in a situation where….where you are now and where you’d like to be for some reason are not coexisting, yet each aligns with at least one of the values on your list (which makes you change your mind on a daily basis… literally, on a daily basis and it starts to drive you crazy…oh wait, is that just me? :P )… well… we’ve just got to decide which means more. We have to decide which of the “pros” that enliven us will outshine the “cons” that we think will kill us. Sticky situations are sticky, but as the lovely Hannah Brencher put it:

When you’ve uncovered an issue, when you’ve found the dampened piece of the puzzle that no longer fits in the corner like it used to, you’ve got to cut something completely new out. Reshape it all, baby. You’ve got to point yourself in a new direction. You have to have the courage to go for something you said you always wanted.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to exchange my heart for a pretty penny. I’ve gotten a taste of what it’s like and let me tell you, it’s not very pretty at all.

lots of love,

paulina

Advertisements

What do you think? Leave your reply here. =)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: